Your Face Imprinted on my Window Pane. ღ

Trains To Brazil (Acoustic) – Guillemots

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I'm currently in love with this song. However, i can't find a buyable or downloadable version of this song. It really makes me sad, because it's just beautiful, gorgeous, and stunning. I adore it.

Anyways, only two more weeks of school before finals and then this semester is done. I'm shocked, like blown away. Time really flies so fast. I've been really busy, with homework, club activities, and life in general. It's a bit BLAHHH-like. But compared to last week, boy this week seems a bit like a breeze. No joke. Ha ha ha.

Righty-o! I dropped Geology, without officialy dropping it, so mom's going to beat me when she sees the F that brings down my gpa. FML. Besides that though, I have to get like an A+++ on my Eastern Religions final, because I missed the 2nd exam on Buddhism and I forgot about the essay... OTL. I should be able to get a C in that class then. If not, I'm really worried about my gpa... As you can see, I'm not worried about my other classes... just Eastern Religions. KIDDDOS DON'T EVER BE LIKE ME. I swear, I never will be again. SRSLY.

On another note: I have to get up early so I can go get the stupid holds off my account, so I can register for classes. It opens at 8:15, and I'm sure they'll be hella busy, so I'm thinking I'll show up at 8:30, get out and have registered by 9, printed off an application sheet to the college of my choice (for my major), fill it out, and chyeah, wait till class at 11... =3=;; Probably eat breakfast and finish my Japanese homework, or at least mostly finish it.

Bai bai!

FML, YES?

I'm exhausted just thinking about my schedule for this week...

Today, I got to sleep in till 2, because I knew I wouldn't have a chance to stop moving until now and once I open my eyes at 6 in the morning tomorrow it'll be gone then also. I also didn't get home until after class and the anime club meeting, which ended at 9:35, but I was talking to my mom, so I didn't go inside till 10:10. I made the brownies, which are now cooling (tis 11 now) and probably won't be done till 12, after memorizing my Japanese presentation for tomorrow.

Wednesday: - wake up early at 6 - so I can be at the S lot bus stop 30 minutes before class, giving me 20 minutes to drop off the brownies for the bake sale (in the anime club room) before Geology at 8.

Class until 10, where I will then read what I can for 20 minutes in my Eastern Religions book, before going downstairs in the SUB to get the brownies out of the AC room and take it to the bake sale, helping set up until class at 11, then returning after class. (somewhere in here printing off the presentation sheet)

Practicing for our Japanese presentation before class with joy while selling at the bake sale. Then going to class at 1, then presenting in Japanese class at 2, then going back to help at the bake sale after class at 3, until going home after set-up.

Baking the cupcakes when I get home so they will have time to cool and be decorated. Finishing my 250 point package due in professional writing on Thursday, including revising and perfecting it. Depending on how long it takes me to do this, probably around 5 hours, eating dinner while reading eastern religions and finishing the 4 chapters in there, so I can choose which essay question to choose so I can start writing on it since it's due the 23rd.

Going to bed after doing the dishes.

Thursday: Get up early, like at 9 (which means getting up at 8 so I'm dressed & having eaten) and finish my Eastern Regions essay so I can print it at school. That'll probably take a good 3 hours. Make sure the cupcakes are etc and etc... Head over to S lot and park there so I can take the cupcakes over and help sell them until class at 5. Work on all my Japanese workbook homework while there (at the bake sale), which'll probably take around 4 hours. After class (during class turn in finished 250 point package, starting on article during class), finish Japanese homework if not done already before starting on the Dragon w/everyone helping at anime club. Shower and eat dinner when I get home. Then, depending on the time, read philosophy chapter, but if it's like 11, just go ahead and head to bed.

(And I just realized that nowhere in there did I put studying for my Geology test, so somewhere I'm doing that, probably going to pull quite a late nighter.)

Friday: Get up and take my Geology test at 8, and hopefully not walk away crying. Help with the bake sale again between breaks at 10 and 12, as well as then going after class (at 3). Then at 4, going to meet again to finish the dragon recylce bin with anime club. Joy's sleeping over, so I'll probably like have us watch a movie or something, after eating dinner cha know? I'll try to like read my philosophy chapter or Japanese homework in there, while we do that.

Saturday: Wake up at 8:45 cuz we have Spring storm at 9:45 in front of the gym, going off with the Anime Club team to do some volunteer work. Joy & I breaking off around 1 if we're not done, to help Devon set up the booth at 2, and sticking around to help with the booth until that's done. Probably going around Fiestas ourselves when we can & what not.

When I get home, finally organizing all my homework and doing stuff like that. I was also going to add on my extra homework, you know, like:

- studying for art history final and all other finals. which is like printing off term papers (w/vocabs and stuff).
- Geology term paper, as well as extra credit.
- Japanese studying, like tons of Kanji and finishing all homework as well as keeping up with the homework from now on.
- Philosophy essay, bringing draft to the meeting on the 30th, doing extra credit stuff at the extra credit classes. (this is technically my last week in there.)
- Reading the Tao Te Ching for Eastern Religions.
- Reading the last 2 chapters for Art History.
- Reading in Geology, as well as catching up for past chapters, for cumulative final.
- AND SHIT TONS MORE.

Along with you know, fitting in the fact I have more stuff for clubs, like attending the meetings, doing the write-up for high school like assigned to me this week, finishing ercole and lorraine grown-up drawing for nea so they can be drawn, squeezing in calls with my parents (and friends like Zach & Tyler), and etc.

BUT YEAH, see how much my life sucks right now?

BTW BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT COLD SORES, WHICH IS LIKE HERPES (LOOK IT UP), I GET ONE RIGHT BEFORE MAID CAFE, CUZ YOU KNOW, THAT'LL HELP SALES, AM I RIGHT?

FUCK MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

I'm off to eat ramen, and sob about my situation while memorizing my presentation draft.

Th-Th-That's okay. Ge-Ge-Get away.~

Lately, I've been sick of myself. Been since like last last week too. This week was my feeling better and changing week. I totally failed. I always fail. OTL.

I need to try harder tomorrow. But I keep saying, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Dad says the best thing in life is to "stop talking about it and just do it." He says some smart things every now and then...

I've also been thinking about writing a scary story, but I get stuck on the basis of the plot. Random ghost killer? But then I get stuck on trying to come up with a background. Random ghost killers bother me.

I think like that detective in Constantine:

"So when a mother drowns her child, your saying she was influenced? No. People do bad things Mr. Constantine. People."

So I'm like, she has to have a reason to be doing this, but I keep getting stuck on the reason and just wanting to go with this crazy killer ghost... UGH. I'll figure it out.

I need to get back to my stupid homework, after this scary movie. I have so much crap to do. What am I doing putting a scary movie and eating an orange first?

♪ ♫ Let's Never Go Back to How We Were Before. Ch-Ch-Change. ღ

I'm looking to the future~!

Just wanted to post that I became an officer for Anime Club. Advertising, so it'll be very interesting and I'll have to definitely step out of my comfort zone...

But it'll hopefully get my self-esteem and confidence up, you know?

We have a maid cafe next week (my first!) so that'll be very interesting and pretty exciting.

I have tons of homework I should be doing, but I was watching Flapjack and then Johhny Test came on and distracted me. Even though I don't like this show... I'm hungry too. =w=;;

I'm going to go now. Ke ke ke ke.

Bai bai~!

Being Older is Hard Sometimes.

It's hard knowing that it's the truth. Everyone has to learn from their mistakes, because no matter how much you tell someone, they don't know until they've gone through it.

He's doing it again. Going back to his old ways... Damn it. What do I do? How can I just stand by and watch? But how can I get involved? Aigoo!(Korean for Oh man)

And that Megan Davis. I knew I hated her for a reason. Somewhere inside of me, I knew, I knew. Mom always said "Not to be so quick to judge." and stuff. But I was right. She's been helping him get drunk on the weekends. If she wants to F her own life up that's fine, but... AUGH. This is so complicated. It's not like she makes him drink, you know? But she helps him get it in a way? Going out of town to party at college kid houses. I wish you'd just been smart and moved to some fancy college far away, WOMAN!

I wish.... I wish I could help my brother. I wish I wasn't so damn weak. But look at me. I can't even make myself study harder...

It hurts. Damn it. It hurts.

Could You Grant Me a Wish?

Please keep smiling as usual.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ali told me just how pretty you'd become and how grown-up and changed, but it's one of those things that you just had to see it to believe it! Who knew you'd be so gorgeous!"

That's what my Aunt said and honestly, I hear it quite a bit, so I'm used to it. It certainly boosts my ego. But I wish I could just get rid of that nagging voice in the back of my head where I am constantly hearing where pieces of me could use improvement.

But I've heard that's one thing you can't ever get rid of, so I'll just keep thinking "you are your own worst critique" so when I get myself real down. I can bring myself back up.

I did a bunch of homework over this weekend with grandma, so I plan on keeping that up, because it felt great to be organized and accomplished. I started to fall back into the lazy pattern today and felt depressing and useless as shit.

I've found the start of all my problems. At least now I know where to start in fixing it.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I finally see, those parts of me you'd pointed out.
The things I'd doubted that existed.

I'll work hard to piece it all together.